Week on / Week off

It's tough to always know what to write. How much can you hear about chemo and its side effects? Yet, it seems like our lives currently involve around just that . . . chemo and its side effects.

Infusion day was last Wednesday. E. had a nice change of company when a close friend accompanied him and sat with him instead of me. Those IV medications wipe him out though and by the time he got home, he was about falling asleep standing up. It was obvious throughout the night that he wasn't comfortable and at about 3:00 a.m., he could no longer pretend that he was still sleeping. His stomach hurt. Not like nausea. Not like cramps. Just pain. And pain bad enough that he couldn't sleep.

I hate seeing him in pain and suggested pain medication. Our options here at the house include over-the-counter Tylenol or liquid Morphine. Clearly, something in middle of the road there would probably be more appropriate. I highly doubt that Tylenol is going to cut it, but the Morphine might be a little much. It's all a moot point though since E. wouldn't hear of it. There were no calls to the doctor, no prescriptions to be filled, no pain medication to be taken. His answer? He was just "hungry." Those are some mighty big hunger pains there, if I do say so myself.

The pain did eventually subside enough that he was back asleep by 9:00 a.m. and other than a few periodic moments when his eyes fluttered open, he remained asleep until 6:00 p.m. The day after infusion really does seem to be the worst. Total exhaustion. And that dang "chemo brain." He thinks he is lucid, but in actuality, he is far from it. Broken, fragmented conversation. Random, irrelevant comments. It may not seem funny (and I highly doubt he sees any amusement in it), but it really is quite entertaining. Kind of like a drunk guy. When you're sober. Only, E. is always cute and never crosses that oh-my-you're-drunk-and-oh-so-annoying-won't-you-please-shut-up-and-just-pass-out line.

Aside from the intense fatigue and the "few too many" nonsense, E. still experiences that strange cold reaction. He is also still battling sinus "stuff," which drives him crazy. Initially we thought it might be a virus or allergies, but now we're thinking it might just be another bothersome side effect. It just won't let go. And then there is the pain. He seems to be in more pain here and there. With the pain, comes loss of appetite. His tummy hurts and creates some nausea and so he just doesn't feel like eating much. It's not like he doesn't eat, because he does. It is just hit and miss, depending on how he's feeling. Having said that though, I do think he's dropping a bit more weight. Pounds that he can't afford to lose.

Tomorrow he'll take the last of his oral chemo meds and officially finish another round of chemo. He'll meet with his oncologist, who will check to make sure his side effects are manageable, his weight is stable and his blood counts are okay (white blood count, hemoglobin, hematocrit and platelets). Then he'll enjoy a week off, only to have to do it all over again.

Week on. Week off. Wax on. Wax off. (Sorry . . . not only am I dating myself with the "wax on/wax off" comment, I think I'm also showing just exactly how frazzled my pea-brain can get after a long week and few too many sleepless nights.)

G'night all.

S.