Hospice

We spoke at length to E.'s oncologist this morning.  The cancer is an ugly beast.  It has taken over his body.  It has taken his strength.  It has taken his appetite.  He isn't strong enough to tolerate chemotherapy.  Even if he were, the cancer would probably be stronger than the chemo.  So, we've made the decision to go home on hospice and try to make these last days good ones.

Please respect that this is his decision.  It was not a decision that was made easily.  We are educated people who have a team of trusted doctors that we respect and consult with, both here locally and at MD Anderson in Texas.  When he was initially diagnosed in February of 2009, we were told that his life expectancy was "less than 2 years."  He has far surpassed that.  Not only did he far surpass that, but he far surpassed that with some darn good years.  We made some great memories.  We need to remember that.

Although we know that people mean well, we don't need to hear phrases like "Keep fighting."  There is nothing left to fight.  Please don't tell us about your Great Aunt Frieda who was told she only had months to live, but started on a raw food diet and ate seeds from a chia pet from Mozambique and is now doing great five years later.  Or your neighbor's friend's sister who went to that clinic in Mexico for a herbal treatment and is now "cured."  Really.  Don't do it.

This is not about E. giving up.  This is about E. accepting the hand of cards that he was dealt.  Like he so eloquently said, he is at peace with his life.  He is a good man, a man of high morals and great integrity and he knows that.  He worries about his family and his children.  He worries that Peanut will not know who he was.  But, as for his life, he is good with that.  That is a goal we should all strive for.

We're hoping to be released from the hospital today or tomorrow.  Because of where the cancer is, it is anticipated that his abdomen will fill with fluid again.  In an effort to prevent us from having to go back and forth to the hospital, they are going to surgically insert a drainage tube (so the fluid can just constantly drain into a bag).  Once that happens, then he can be discharged.  It sounds like the cancer of pancreas is notoriously painful, so hospice will have to stay on top of the pain management.  Those of you that know E., can imagine that he's already voiced his opinion about that.  He does NOT want to spend his last days "drugged up."

His time is limited.  Very limited (the doctor estimated he has two to four weeks left).  He is tired.  He wants to rest and enjoy the little time he has left with his family.  At the risk of offending friends, he doesn't want visitors at this time.  Feel free to send cards or email or text any messages you might want relayed.  Please, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers during this holiday season.  We are losing a man that means the world to us.